Swipe was written by writer Anna Chatterton and composer James Rolfe. It can be performed either as concert music or music theatre. The text is a dramatic monologue, sung by a young woman, describing a scene which may be actual or imagined.

Swipe was commissioned by Toca Loca (Gregory Oh, Artistic Director), with the assistance of The Laidlaw Foundation.

Text of Swipe

Swipe, wipe that smile off your face, sir. Thinking you know me and my kind, sir. I’ll have you know I’ll have none of it sir. I’m a locked up locket type find sir.

Oh. Guessed that did you?

Well, snivelling snob rob me of my wit sir. From my father’s to your house and quick sir? That path I shall never traverse. Curse? Is that what I hear out of your mouth sir? Surely not or you’ll rot somewhere else sir.

I’m alone a lone lonely woman single and strapped. I’ve been twisted, turned and dumped on my back.

I’ll not travel that distance because, sir, There is no distance to cross sir
No father, no house, no dowry to off- er… Just me, a saucy sauce-sir.

Snap out of it!

Sap, rap on the beat of my heart sir.
Wail and moan, what a treat what a bone I must seem sir. You’ll have me scoffing at your cough, cough, your hem ahem, your gawf-waf-off.

Chuckle chuckle I’m a honeysuckle rose, sir. Love me or leave me
That seems to be the way it goes.
So I won’t be leaving my light on for you, sir.

Wait!!! Where are you going?

I knew it. I blew it. I can’t flirt, just spit, spurt and spout Frought as a kit, scampering about, pulling a pout.
I’ll draw you in and then snap! Reel you out.
Come close and beware! I’m really a miss – take.

I’ll forever be the stray skinny cat looking for scraps.
With all the girls who mince mince and bat bat, why choose me?

Oh… Come back my sweet… I won’t snap… I won’t drive you away. Because really, he was really, quite.. tender …and I, spicy and hot … Was not.
His eyes on me, drawing me in…

And I falling, falling…

(She is swept into a kiss)

Oh! You’re back…
Peg me down sir? Never.
I’m too clever for the likes of you sir.